I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
