It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
