I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
home. puking in laundry basket.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
