i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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