i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
