Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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