if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
