I'm sorry my penis didn't work
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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