Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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