i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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