I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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