Can i not drive my cunt home
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
