I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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