it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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