I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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