i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
