My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize