ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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