I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
