I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize