What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
