No more Irish car bombs ever.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
