if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
