I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
