She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
