If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
