She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
