Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
