Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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