I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
