well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize