I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
