I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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