this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
