my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
