you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
