You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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