She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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