i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
