You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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