Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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