He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
