What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
