That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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