So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
