So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I would ride that face into the sunset
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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