Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize