I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
