If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
