I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We had to coat check the pizza.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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