so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
