You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
