Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
