Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
