May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
