My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
