think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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