You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
