i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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