No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
