I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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