you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
