so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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