I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He passed out mid-signature
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm getting married
To pizza
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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