Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
