Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
