Your mouth is God's brothel.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Boobs are out for the taking
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
