if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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