Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize