i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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