Apparently you make a good broom.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
