I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
