just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize