The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
tell your sister to shave her snatch
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize