you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
