sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
